We need better super heroes

by John MacBeath Watkins

Why are the superpowers of comic book characters so useless? How many of your own problems could be solved by being able to hit someone very hard, or shoot a powerful beam from your eyes that can take out a wall?

I propose some superheroes with really useful talents:

Smarty Pants: Once she dons her magic underwear, her intelligence allows her to solve previously intractable engineering problems, like how to render nuclear waste inert.

The Waiter: Patience is his superpower. No matter how long you need to make up your mind, he will wait patiently and cheerfully. Particularly adept at dealing with bureaucracy, he can accomplish things without blowing up the buildings where the red tape resides.

The Compromiser: No matter how much two sides hate each other, he can devise a solution that benefits everyone.

The Comforter: She can take you to a new plateau of peace and contentment, no matter what trauma you've experienced.:

Any others to suggest?