Look, up in the sky!

 by John MacBeath Watkins

I don't know why people are surprised that American voters elected Trump. We learned in the 1930s that Americans can't tell the difference between a bird, a plane, and Superman.

I imagine that exchange went something like this. We have three observers, plus a supervillain. To avoid confusion, I will call the observers Observer 1, Observer A, and Observer 2B.

Observer 1: Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird!

Lex Luthor: Why are you so excited? There are birds in the sky much of the time.

1: I think it's a red-booted Boobie. Hardly any bird perverts -- I mean, bird watchers -- have spotted one of those. Man, I'd like to watch it mate!

Observer A: That's no bird. It's a plane. I'm fairly certain that is a Supermarine Walrus, they type that won the 1922 Schneider Cup trophy.

Observer 2B: The Supermarine Walrus was a biplane flying boat. I don't think that's a biplane or a flying boat.

Lex Luthor: It has two arms and two legs, you idiots. That's an illegal immigrant, arrived as an unaccompanied minor, no papers even today.

2B: You can tell his immigration status just from looking at him?

Lex: Actually, I'm with Immigration and Customs Enforcement. We're going after everyone with black hair.

A: Isn't he doing the kind of job Americans don't want to do?

Lex: Yeah, he's a newspaper reporter.

A: Couldn't get a job picking cabbages? Hey, now you mention it, he looks like Superman in those pajamas. If it's really Superman, how will you take him down?

Lex: Well, I've made a fake green card out of kryptonite...