Corporations are people too! Have you not seen them in the pews of your church?

by John MacBeath Watkins

Corporations are people too!

That's why we have battered corporation shelters.

Do you even know the unemployment rate among corporations?

Tragically, suicide hotline volunteers are not trained to talk down a corporation that's been dumped by a lover.

Because of the current recession, more and more corporations are losing their health insurance and skimping on heart medicine.

Paparazzi have been hounding Hollywood corporations, leading 20th Century Fox to punch out several of them.

Anheuser Busch Companies Inc. has switched to white wine, hoping to shed that beer gut.

News Corp., facing criminal charges for hacking phones, claims the people whose phones it hacked really love it and no one can stand between them.

Now that the Wall Street Journal is running photographs, can pictures of once-attractive corporations' cellulite at the beach be far behind?

Corporations are now allowed to contribute money for political purposes, but their rights are still not what they should be. That's why corporate suffrage advocates chained themselves to the White House fence until police dragged them away. Microsoft is refusing to post bail.

(The inspiration for this post. Actually, what Romney says is far less disturbing than the Citizens United ruling.)